I got the call today, a couple of hours ago.
Like tooms says, life is truly short.
————–
Sister Madeeha Faryad passed away on Thursday April 26, 2007 in Fairfax Hospital.
La ilaha IllaAllah.
La ilaha illa Allah.
La ilaha illah Allah.
“I’ve been looking for answers since becoming an adult
Not looking for dogma to live like a cult
I’ve been looking to live,
I’ve been living to find
Freedom from cages that limit my mind.
Would you call me a hypocrite?
Call me a liar?
Would you curse out my name?
Would you damn me to fire?
Would you know what to say?
Or would you just walk away?
Afraid the me I’ve tried to hide
Would you closely resemble the truth of you that lies inside?
Will I scare you, upset you, frustrate you, irate you?
Challenge a lifestyle or weaken your trust
Or will you see my efforts and my passion, sincerity
Would you see just a little of yourself in me
Will you take off your mask so we can both be free.”
-Dawud Wharnsby Ali
Kinda speaks for itself doesn’t it?
Its not B&W for everyone
and now very grey for me
no gesture goes unquestioned
to friend or foe for free
everyone on their own
although standing together
not sure if its for stability
or to withstand bad weather
whatever happened to
for better or for worse
and something that they never knew
could, and yes, would hurt
when things are out of context
they tend to make a mess
which then, in turn becomes a law
with nothing left to guess
when it goes unvisited
for years and years to pass
& finally when dust settles
but like no time has passed
something new arises to
only your dismay
& nothing in her right mind
she would dare display
the words spoken out once
i vow to never speak again
in all truth i should burn this poem
and see what happens then.
Is it a union or an intersection? Were we all standing around by accident when they drew the circles for the diagram or are there intersecting values?
I wonder, if they drew the circles all over again, would you know where you belonged? Where to stand? or would you be another confused person with pencil on their face?
Tonight I cried.
For a man, a character
…and cried for his son.
I cried for humanity
The hungry,
The poor
The destitute.
Tonight ,
zakaat made perfect sense
…its essentiality
although unquestioned,
was explained further.
I cried for a girl
Who saw this life
with all the color her vision could perceive,
But none of it was in focus.
I cried for a moment.
Tonight,
I cried for a voice,
I used to see as weak
…that sang a song,
I’d only listened to today
but heard many times
but today this voice was beauty
I cried for the lost, the forgotten.
These hours of clarity,
are priceless
We all experience these moments.
…then we sleep it off,
and awake, with all forgotten.
When I wipe away the tears,
with mascara tainted fingertips.
I make a promise,
an oath,
to change what I have seen
To make a real difference.
Tonight…
…I cried.
and I’ll cry again
Tonight, I cried.
————————–————————–———
This note is an afterthought to the movie “The pursuit of Happyness.” and a long night that followed. [I love you guys]
Best to everyone, have a wonderful break kids
smile for us all 
Everything we do,
I mean without exception, is selfish.
Yes,
I said it.
Selfish.
Even the way God made us.
We do good, we get good deeds.
There’s never something for nothing with us.
Had there been no reward we wouldn’t do good.
No motivation.
Just think that’s our relationship with God.
He created us.
Gives us all we have, and will have.
And we need something from him (SWT) to do Good.
A promise of heaven, and eternal peace.
The same goes with any relationship you can think of
You have a friend thats an entire wreck.
They are relatively anti-social
-save for dealing with you -
and you still keep in touch with them.
They make you a hero for it.
You only do it because of that.
You do it cause they thank you from time to time,
Even that gets old after a while…
Both of you will eventually acknowledge that.
You do it cause they need you.
They give you nothing.
in return for your friendship.
They murder you.
on a bi-weekly basis.
with their depressing thoughts.
They admire your faulty lifestyle
They favor it to their own,
which in all honesty
is extremely similar in principle.
That makes you all the more powerful.
It makes you important.
They make you someone.
Someone to them,
and in your mind…
Someone to the rest of the world.
People that confide in you,
People that trust your judgment,
People that look up to you,
People that are bothered by you
People that hate you
People that are impressed by you.
People that are jealous of you.
People that are intimidated by you.
People that know you.
People that love you.
People that miss you.
People that have never talked to you.
People that haven’t seen you in years.
They all contribute to who you are.
To how you perceive your self.
Think about it.
NOTE: You’re a nosy bamma, you thought this was about something juicy, its not. I am just pondering about this topic, now go on your way, and forever hold that insult
There’s just never the time.
I enjoy those conversations.
The ones you steal between classes…
Where we talk about those things.
The things that we know
We need to talk about,
But never do, because
When “other” people are there.
The time just doesn’t allow…
Something comes up…
Some one butts in…
We both smile
“No, you didn’t interrupt us…whats up?”
That always got me, people coming
and sitting and asking if they’re interrupting us
then us saying no, and them sitting down.
for heaven’s sake,
if we look like we were talkin about something
then we were.
and if you feel the slightest doubt that that’s the case.
save the question.
and keep ur self right where your at,
till we look approachable enough for your taste
Some conversations go unvisited for semesters.
because the chance never came.
or the hinder-ers never left
The look in their eye,
Something is cookin…
You return the look,
under curious brows…
That mind, i’d like to explore
and I plan to.
no doubt.
no doubt.
i am a lonely person.
…surrounded by people.
i smile, joke,act like a nut, quote Dave Chappelle and laugh at myself.
ill always respect a direct person
without a thought as to what they had to say
then again, respecting and liking are two very different things
i do have good times
i have great times in fact
and i thank God for all of the blessings i have with his mercy and kindness (swt)
but again, i’m beyond a certain point…
i have never been able to achieve the state of happiness i once had.
honest to God.
i can’t put my finger on it.
its just that feeling of hanging there.
hanging from what?
ur guess is better than mine at this point.
im not bored.
its more than that.
im…just know its more than that.
im mentally limited.
in every essence of the word
the people that surround me…
notice i didnt say -
the ppl i surround myself with
are bad for my brain.
you drain me.
you bore the life out of me.
im amazed most of u haven’t attempted suicide.
or atleast enough times for me to have heard about it.
to rid the place of another morbid spirit.
yeah, the place, not the world.
you aren’t significant on an international scale.
get over urself.
im immersed in school, work, volunteering, designing, grading….
and who knows what else i dont care to mention
but im hollow.
i have my faith, my prayers and whatnot.
im working on developing my relationship with God.
i just havent reached the level where that is all i need.
im working on that.
im tired of the correct, yet sappy and redundant advice
the empty ill-thought comments.
the lame 2-dozen for a dollar, solutions to problems.
you don’t mix skittles
with m&ms.
thats just dumb
go wash your hands Godammit
————————–————————–————————–—————-
course you dont know what i mean.
infact, you have absolutely no idea.
thats ok. no one does.
Theres an opening in the partition,
that cuts the ballroom into
chicks and dudes,
this fissure attracts people
from either side
to it,
like fireflies to light.
i think it defeats its purpose,
its worse than openning it all up.
makes people wonder,
what they’re missing…
in my opinion that is…
i don’t mind it..
i aint missing much.
Its the niyya that counts.
may Allah SWT reward everyone accordingly…
So, why are you coming to Iftar?
