the Lead…

–unofficial review of the first 3 chapters of Developing the Leader Within You –

“Everyone continually exerts influence either to heal, bless, to leave marks of beauty, or to wound, to hurt, to poison, to stain other lives…“

What kind of influence are you having on the people that you pass in life? That kind of psychs me out. How we should always be our best. As Muslims, as role models, as leaders. We are going to be held accountable for the way we affect people. How we appear to them, especially in the name of Islam.

“You can’t lead people farther than you’ve ever been yourself”

I make dua’a that Allah SWT grants me leadership to the muttaqeen and subhan Allah…I really have just learned the true meaning of leading. It requires the utmost in good character. When Islam teaches us about character, there is such an emphasis on good manners. It seems all friendly and “Yeah, people will like you better…” But that is just the surface. Character is everything.

“People’ s Minds are changed by Observation, not Argument.”

People follow example. They can be told one million times. It won’t make a difference.

In leading people we have to look at our own integrity. Who are we? What do we stand for? People can sniff out fakeness. You can pretend all you want but you will be found out sooner or later. So, being honest, even when people aren’t going to particularly like what you have to say, is crucial.

“The measure of a man’s true character is what he would do if he was never found out.“

that one speaks for itself.

Enemy

“The Good is the enemy of the Best”

-This is my resolution for this year. To be the best inshallah. In every way.

-Thanks for the birthday wishes kids.

Waste…

I’m trying to figure out how not to waste my time today.

Balance…

Stomach in knots.

Cool as a cucumber.

There is what happened, and what didn’t.

That is all there is to worry about as far as I’m concerned.

What is going on inside their heads?

I really wonder, at this point I would want to read minds, for just 3 hours, then cut it off. Like the X-ray vision, to see which cookies had the most chocolate chips in them. A nervous person isn’t always wrong. They may have a gut feeling that makes them fear a given situation. Like confronting a phobia, its not the thing itself. It is how “the thing” makes you feel. I always thought it impressive to defy the rules of “gut feelings” to kind of handle things in the opposite manner they should be handled. Bend the physical rules that say I should be worried sick about at exam, for example. Taking an exam is nothing to be worried about. Now studying for that exam, is. So I think we sometimes mix things up.

It all falls back on choices. What choice did you make? I chose to stay up the night before studying something else. I chose to not review the old homework. I had coffee that morning. I didn’t even remember to bring a pencil. I was sleeping on it. I could have gotten an A+. Choices.

We don’t mourn the past. We can’t get it back. Maybe the dread will drive us, ambitiously, successfully into tomorrow. Things happen for reasons way above our head. Sometimes we get so caught up in our little assumptions and doubts and guesses and we loose track of the bigger picutre.

Allah SWT has the master plan. We are pawns in this life, and we should really accept our fate accordingly. I think submitting to fate (not just wasting away, I mean doing what you can, but the ultimate decision is up to Allah SWT) makes life all the more stable. Nothing can make you that mad, nothing can make you that happy. You really will reach a state of emotional equilibrium. A temporary one at least. That is the balance.

Al-Masad

To me it was more of the following quesiton:

“Is there any Abu-Lahab in me…?”

The lesson behind the surah wasn’t that Allah SWT can punish a person for their deeds. That is a fact. Allah is all powerful and Able to do anything. It was a lesson and a reminder to anyone who has the same aversion from the truth. That can be through arrogance, ego, etc.

Also the idea of Abu Lahab trying to ransom other people for his own freedom on the day of judgment. Our relationships as people are so volatile. We say we love each other, we care, we miss each other. We just focus so much on the small stuff the relationships, the interactions. Although these aren’t supposed to be disregarded our final love should be for Allah SWT. We won’t be able to take any of this with us.

The little things give you away…

The concept of dying. It just puts things into perspective. You can see how attached we can get to this life, and the things in it.

We will die alone.

Scared, unsure, and small.

We are then resurrected, for eternity.

In the state we earned. Devastating thought.

I pray for the best…

Diagnosis…

A seventy year old man, who sat next to me in 1B, talked to me for all 3 hours of the way.

Which in all honesty felt (thanks to Allah swt then his chit chat) like 30 min.

He was a Methodist Christian who owned a design shop in San Diego, CA (among other things that he pointed to from the sky… estates and acres upon acres of land) Geographically talented. He had the entirety of the US map in his head, and could ID these cities from the sky (mashallah).

His daughter worked in the shop, (it was a pity project to give her a job). She got pregnant at 16 and had a baby.

“See that? We’re flying along the border…“

“She’s now 26 with another child.“

Wow…

“…and she married one more.”

So she now has three..

He chuckled in agreement.

His blue eyes didn’t age like the rest of him. He was once a young man. Probably handsome. This grey hair, brown. The posture he retained  resulted in his dignified disposition. A  teenager, a good neighbor, a soldier, political science major, real estate agent, and a father on multiple occasions.
The flight attendant appeared from behind his chair and chirped with a brisk voice,

“Cookies?“

I had been waiting for these. It is my favorite thing about flying Midwest airlines. After 10 am of course. They’re always hot, the chips melting onto the napkin.  Easily the best tasting chocolate chip cookies ever.

“That down there, is Colorado Springs, CO”

To him California is home. Mine, on the other hand, is 3 hours in the future.
“She doesn’t really believe in God… You try to do everything for them – your kids that is – but they will do it their way no matter how hard you try.“

“Now were flying over Arizona…”

“Is your dad a good guy?“

Yes. Yes sir he is. He takes care of us all.

“I have a friend” – sigh.

“He…I left him in California.”

“He was in the ER. He’s dying. I don’t know if he’ll be alive when I get back…”

“Sir would you like something to drink?”
Apple juice and Cranberry Juice please.

“Sure, with ice?”

The phony smile remains plastered to her face.

“And you?”

I’ll pass. Thanks.

So what happened to your friend?

“He stopped eating. He stopped taking care of himself. He lives by himself. He was in his house dehydrated and alone for 2 days before I came and got him.”

- he took off his glasses and wiped them off. Then put them back on, slowly, silently and carefully.

“I had to carry him to the car. It took me two hours to get him out of there, and to the hospital. “

That’s insane!

“His wife left him, she divorced him. She took away his daughters…

He loves those girls more than anything. He loves them so much…

She was Muslim, from Iran…She wasn’t a good Muslim. 

She took his daughters and said he couldn’t see them.

Now he is dying.

He’s two years younger than me. He shouldn’t be dying.

He is dying of a broken heart.”

“Now were above Kansas City, MO…“

Oh yeah?

- silence.

“By the way I’m Joe…”

I’m Miah. Nice to meet you Joe.