Unprofessionalism in the Muslim Community

It’s the end of the month, but there will be no paycheck for another week.

As though being late wasn’t bad enough, to top it off, you are made to feel as though the money you’ve worked for isn’t your right, and they are doing you a favor by paying you anything at all. This Islamic Organization is simply out of money at the time, and you have to wait until they get some. It coincidentally comes to your attention that some employees in higher positions had their checks issued on time and without any delay.

An Islamic school wanted you to teach 2 subjects and pay you as a quarter-time employee. Apparently if you don’t teach 4 subjects to the entire school then you will not be considered a full-time teacher (that isn’t a sarcastic remark). In addition, you were told that your pay was based on 1/4 of the full-time teacher’s pay. When you find out what that rate is, you know that it is much lower than what an actual 1/4 is. They are trying to take advantage of the fact that you are new there and don’t know anyone, or how much they make. Sadly, you do know another teacher, and you realize their dishonesty. As a result, you quit.

Another school refused to pay you your last paycheck after they were informed that the you wouldn’t be returning next year. They claimed that withholding the pay was their right since you breached your contract. When in fact you had signed no contract in the first place. Now you have to take legal action in order to get your money. Contracts are made on a yearly basis, so the option to leave at the end of the year is simply a choice not to renew a contract. There should be no conditions on getting the pay for work that was already done. That same school was telling you and all of  its employees to report lower income than they were actually getting, in order for the school to be eligible for a tax break.

A Muslim-owned business approaches you and requests a redesign for their website. When you gave them your price, they said it was too high. So you agreed to do it at a lower price, and explained your terms for design work (limiting the number of revisions to the design once you finalize it, requiring 50% pay upfront, and overtime will be charged at an hourly rate). In response you get a horrible attitude, and they requested your references, and more samples of your work and said they might consider hiring you. When they had approached you in the first place and offered you the work, based on a design you did, that they saw, and liked. Other Non-Muslim Businesses you work with have gladly paid you the 50% and agreed to abide by these same terms.

Subhan Allah. All of these are real stories.

You start to wonder if these organizations  had planned to abuse you from the get-go?

But, you haven’t done anything wrong to them, so why would they bother, then you remember Allah SWT’s Words from Surat Al-Hujuraat, “O ye who believe! Avoid suspicion as much (as possible): for suspicion in some cases is a sin.”

Is it because you are working with Muslim organizations, then your work is “Fe Sabeel Illah” – for the sake of Allah – that people pushing the boundaries shouldn’t bother you?

The short answer is, No. Because if it was, we would all be willing to sacrifice to help get things done, and more importantly to help each other. That executive would give up part of his salary to help you pay your rent on time.

Is it because this is my Muslim brother or sister I should let them fall behind on the payments?

It can’t be, because they are the ones that want you to be there on-time, every time, to work for them. They want flawless work, in a hurry, with an impossible deadline and an insane volume of work to be completed by then. This is a paid position, you were promised a paycheck in exchange for specific tasks and duties, and it is an agreement between you and your employer.

Allah SWT requires us to respect these agreements, as stated in Surat Al-Israa, “…and fulfill (every) engagement, for (every) engagement will be inquired into (on the Day of Reckoning).”

Are all employees doing right by their employers, and inherently the victims?

Of course not. Obviously both cases exist, but, unprofessionalism just breeds more unprofessionalism. The employee that slacks should be fired. The employer that mistreats their worker should loose that employee to a more deserving firm.

Woe to those that deal in fraud, – Those who, when they have to receive by measure from men, exact full measure, – But when they have to give by measure or weight to men, give less than due. – Do they not think that they will be called to account? - On a Mighty Day, A Day when (all) mankind will stand before the Lord of the Worlds?” Al Mutaffifeen (1 – 6)

Allah SWT warns us specifically about this type of behavior in the Holy Quran. Yet it seems as though Muslims are failing (repeatedly) to recognize this as the case, or abide by this obligation.

In Project Management there are three main areas that need to be in balance in order to successfully complete a project.

1. The Budget, or how much money is allocated to completing the project.
2. The Schedule, which breaks the project into smaller tasks and their respective deadlines.
3. The Scope of work, which are the things that need to be completed and delivered by the due date.

Whenever any of these three factors are changed, the entire project will be thrown off.

How is that?

Here’s the situation (Bear with my poor example):

You gave me a 20 and asked me to go to Giant and get some items on a list. The list costs exactly $20 including tax. So I have 45 minutes to go and bring the groceries home. The project here is getting the groceries. If you were to call me on the phone, and tell me you need some meat from the Halal shop as well, that would throw me off. Mainly because of the money, I am now over my budget, also it will increase the time I’ll need, and I won’t be able to deliver on schedule.

You see?

So changing any of the three factors in any project will change the other two. If you push these limits then either the project will fail or it will be completed with poor quality.

Bottom line: When the balance is lost, the project suffers.

I believe that to be the exact case with these Muslim businesses and institutions. They are attempting to ‘milk’ employees for work they aren’t willing (or able) to pay them for. They have expectations which exceed their ability or willingness to fairly compensate for. Employees come in with higher than usual expectations from a Muslim employer and expect über-ethical and fair treatment. Employees’ morale and trust in their employer drops, as a result the quality of their work suffers.

Expectations have to be made clear, and fulfilled by both sides. If we all know Allah SWT is watching us, then we should act like it. Muslim businesses and Islamic Organizations are the pillars of our community, when we build our Ummah on broken principles it can fall apart overnight.

Anyone reading this knows that sadly, this is the situation in general. I am sure there are exceptions to the rule, but I have traveled, searched and am yet to find a case where this doesn’t stand true in some way or another.

We have reached rock bottom when Muslims sincerely warn other Muslims against getting jobs with Muslim companies or Islamic Organizations, because of the suffering. Why should it be that in exchange for being in a so-called Islamic Environment you will face all sorts of head and eventually heartache?

I’m not writing this with the intention to bash other Muslims or talk smack about the Ummah. On the contrary, I want to point this out and have it addressed and remedied, so that it is no longer the case. I make dua’a that Allah SWT guides us all to the best of manners and etiquette, and that we are among those that take heed of good advice and follow the best of it.

Risk & Return

Whenever I considered doing anything major in my life, my Baba (Dad) would tell me that I needed to do a “Cost benefit analysis” first. I understood the gist of what he meant, and often thought a great deal about anything I considered doing; mostly resulting in me over-thinking it. During my study of finance in grad school, I came across the relationship between Risk and Return, and believe it or not, this is what really drove it home for me.

Clench your teeth through the technical part, it’ll stop hurting in a second.

Risk is defined as: A situation involving exposure to danger, and in finance it’s the possibility of financial loss.

Here’s the scenario: You have some money (Principal), you want to invest it in a security, there’s a chance it will grow, and a chance it will shrink. The chance the security will loose money is essentially the risk associated with it. Returns refer to the amount of interest that you can gain on the money you invest, or how much the money will grow.

In an attempt to keep my promise about reducing the pain, I’ll cut this short.

Investors (intelligent ones) are thought to be risk averse, meaning they avoid risk like the plague, as much as they can help it. Well, lo and behold there is a trick to reducing the risk on your investment!

It’s called diversification, which pretty much means what you thought it did: not to put all your eggs in one basket, or to invest the money in lots of different stocks or securities.

How that works, is that if one of the stocks you invested your money in goes bust, then it wont hurt so bad, because not all your money was invested there in the first place.

I think you got the idea now.

Back to my Baba, so he said make sure you analyze cost and benefit, pros and cons, risk and return. See the pattern? As Muslims we should constantly be making this analysis. I was in a situation where my Halaqah (Study circle) leader was sitting with me and telling me a story, when she just stopped. I asked her what was wrong, she said, “I was trying to see if benefit would come from telling you that detail or not.” Subhan Allah, such a small statement, but it had a profound affect on the way I see my actions. Every little action counts and should be treated accordingly. We have to look at our life in an objective manner to see the bigger picture.

May Allah SWT bless her, and anyone who has ever taught me anything.

We have to check our intentions constantly, and make sure that our Principal (our actions) isn’t invested in anything other than pleasing Allah SWT or bettering our hereafter. Investing in anything else would be the worst decision you could ever make right?

Allah SWT discusses this poor calculation in Surat Al-Baqarah verse 16:

“These are they who have bartered Guidance for error: But their transaction is profitless, and they have lost true direction.”

Muslims, like good investors should also be risk averse. We should avoid doing anything that, anger Allah SWT, and will as a consequence land us in the Hell fire (May Allah SWT protect us from it.) By ensuring our deeds are invested in Allah SWT’s pleasure we can’t go wrong. Allah SWT tells us just this in Surat Faatir verse 29:

“Those who recite the Book of Allah, establish regular Prayer, and spend (in Charity) out of what We have provided for them, secretly and openly, hope for a commerce that will never fail.”

We should also diversify our investments through doing as many different good actions as often as humanly possible. The bitter truth is that achieving sincerity in our actions towards Allah SWT is neither easy, nor is it guaranteed. There is no confirmation that Allah SWT accepts our deeds. If we could only be as fortunate as the sons of Adam when Allah SWT revealed that He accepted from one and not from the other as stated in Surat Al-Maidah verse 27:

“Recite to them the truth of the story of the two sons of Adam. Behold! They each presented a sacrifice (to Allah.: It was accepted from one, but not from the other.”

So we have to try our best to do as many sincere acts for Allah SWT, and hope for His Mercy and Pleasure in order to increase our chances to making it to Jannah Inshallah.

Here comes one last analogy from Baba, that like the other, makes a great deal of sense.

Your life is like a flight. It has a starting point, and a destination. You have a flight plan that draws out how to get where you are going, and for any Muslim that final destination should be Jannah inshallah. So, you go about following the plan. You finish high school, start college, go to university, and graduate.

Along the way you go slightly off course, you get so involved with your job that you start to slack off on praying sunnah, fasting Mondays and Wednesdays and praying on time. When that happens, you have to catch it, and immediately make a course correction. This will set you gladly back on your way to where you were supposed to be headed in the first place.

In the instance that you weren’t analyzing your actions, or plans for your immediate future in that light, would all of the little plans to finish college, get a job, get a promotion, etc. put you at the correct final destination?

The point is to highlight the importance of making conscious decisions about what you do with your life, if those decisions are all made based on what’s best for your hereafter, then with the help of Allah S.W.T you can’t go wrong.

When I got married, a dear friend and mentor told me to “make Allah SWT the center of your life, and everything else will fall into place.”

That advice stands true in any situation, for any person.

I will leave you with a verse from the Holy Quran (65:3):

“…And if any one puts his trust in Allah, sufficient is ((Allah)) for him.”

Finance Terms You Should Be Familiar With

a) Proprietorship: An unincorporated business owned by a single individual.

Partnership: An unincorporated business owned by two or more individuals.

Corporation: A legal entity created by state law with multiple owners, all with limited liability.

b) Limited Partnership: A partnership where there are general and limited partners. The former are subjected to unlimited liability and control where as the latter are only liable for the amount of their investment in the business, and have no control. 

Limited Liability Partnership: Also known as an LLC is where all partners are only liable for their investment in the business.

Professional Corporation: An incorporated business that offers limited liability to its multiple owners (shareholders) that invest in the business with minimal risk.

c) Stockholder wealth maximization: To increase the company’s ability to generate cash flow, which in turn leads to payouts to stockholders.

d) Money Market: The markets for short-term (less than one year to maturity) highly liquid debt securities.

Capital Market: The markets for intermediate or long-term (1- 5 years to

maturity) and corporate stocks.

Primary Market: The markets in which corporations raise new capital.

Secondary Market: The markets in which existing outstanding securities are traded among investors.

e) Private market: Markets where transactions occur directly between two parties.

Public Market: Markets where standardized contracts are traded on organized exchanges, such as a common stock or corporate bonds.

Derivatives: Financial instruments or securities that derive their value from another security.

f) Investment Banker: A facilitator to help transfer capital from savers to businesses by buying stocks or bonds from corporations and selling them to savers in the form of securities.

Financial Service Corporation: Conglomerates that include several financial institutions under one corporation.

Financial Intermediary: A bank or a mutual fund that takes cash from savers in exchange for its own securities and reinvests the cash in businesses securities.

g) Mutual Fund: Corporations that accept money from savers and use the money to invest in different securities, and pooling funds helps reduce risk to investors.

Money market Fund: Interest bearing checking accounts.

h) Physical Location Exchanges: Types of secondary markets where traders physically meet and trade in a specific location. Examples include NYSE and AMEX.

Computer/ Telephone Network: Types of secondary markets where traders make exchanges over computer or telephone networks and do not meet in person. An example of a computer or telephone networks is Nasdaq.

i) Open Outcry Auctions: An auction where traders meet in person and communicate via shouts and signals to trade.

Dealer Market: A market where dealers keep inventory of traded stocks and list the prices that they are willing to buy and sell at on a computerized quotation system.

Electronic Communications Network: An electronic system that matches market orders to buy and sell at the lowest prices. It then executes the transaction and notifies the parties involved.

j) Production Opportunities: The ability to turn capital into benefits. An example is when a student borrows to pay for college; they expect to get a better job and higher income from their investment.

Time Preference for Consumption: The choice of a buyer or business to save or spend their money in the present or to invest it and enjoy greater spending in the future.

k) Foreign Trade Deficit: When the government imports more than it exports or buys more than it sells on the international market, this debt is paid by borrowing, resulting in a deficit.

How to Wash Your Cat – Humor

Some people have the misconception that cats never have to be bathed. That somehow they “lick” themselves clean. Well contrary to this popular belief, cats do NOT have some enzyme in their saliva that resembles Tide (with or without bleach). Cats, like their nemesis, the dog …. do get dirty and have a variety of odors… from smelling like the outhouse where you camped last year to the same odor as your dog’s breath. (Remember… your dog will try to eat anything.)

Now we all know that cats HATE water. And we know that giving the cat a sedative to ease this process of a bath is out of the question. So, the best approach is both sneaky and direct. Remember now, this is not the dumb dog who can be led to tub with lies and a trail of Kibbles and Bits. Although your cat has the advantage of smarts, quickness and total lack of concern for you …. you have the advantage of size, strength, and the ability to wear protective garments.

1. First …. dress for the occasion. A 4-ply rubber wet suit is suggested, along with a helmet, face mask and welders gloves.

2. A Bathtub with a glass enclosure is preferred to the one with a shower curtain. A frenzied cat can shred one of these in about 3.5 seconds.

3. Have the Kitty Bubbles and towel in the enclosed bathtub area before hand. No … blow drying the cat after the bath is not suggested.

4. Draw the water, making it a little warmer than needed as you still need to find the cat. Position everything strategically in the shower, so you can reach it even if you are face down or prone in the tub.

5. Find your cat. Use the element of surprise. Pick the cat up, nonchalantly as if you were simply carrying him/her to the supper dish. No need to worry about the cat noticing your strange attire… the cat barely notices you anyway.

6. Once you and the cat are inside the bathroom …. speed is essential. In one single liquid motion .shut the door to the bathroom, step into the shower, close the sliding doors, and drop the cat into the water. While the cat is still in a state of shock, locate the Kitty Bubbles and squirt whatever part of him is above the water line. You have just begun the wildest 45 seconds of your life. Remember that cats have no handles and add the fact that he now has soapy fur. His state of shock has worn off and he’s madder than a wet hornet.

7. As best, you can, wearing welder’s gloves, try to field his body as he catapults through the air toward the ceiling. If possible, give another squirt of Kitty Bubbles with his body now fully exposed.

8. During the 5 seconds you are able to hold onto him, rub vigorously. No need to worry about rinsing. As he slide down the glass enclosure into the tub, he will fall back into the water, rinsing himself in the process.

9. Only attempt the lather and rinse process about 3 times. The cat will realize the lack of traction on the glass by then and will use the next attempt on the first available part of you.

10. Next, the cat must be dried. No…this is NOT the easiest part. By this stage, you are worn out and the cat has just become semi-permanently affixed to your right leg. We suggest here that you drain the tub and in full view of your cat . reach for the bottle of Kitty Bubbles.

11. If you have done step 10 correctly, the cat will be off your leg and hanging precariously from your helmet. Although this view of the cat is most disgusting, he will be in a much better position for wrapping the towel around him.

12. Be sure cat is firmly wrapped in towel before opening tub enclosure. Open bathroom door …. put towel wrapped cat on floor and step back quickly. Into tub, if possible, and do not open enclosure until all you can see is the shredded towel.

13. In about 2 hours …. it will be safe to exit the bathroom. Your cat will be sitting out there somewhere looking like a small hedgehog while plotting revenge.
http://www.geocities.com/heartland/hills/6354/lol-catwash.html

Mother’s Advice to her Daughter

This is a translation from Arabic, of a vintage poem or story about a mother giving advice to her daughter that got married and was leaving to live with her husband. Although people may see this as backwards and that a woman is being told to put herself in a position lower than her man, the truth is that when these basics are fulfilled there is more of a chance both parties will be content.

O my daughter, if it were deemed unnecessary to give you this advice because of good manners and noble descent, then it would have been unnecessary for you, because you posses these qualities, but it will serve as a reminder to those who are forgetful, and will help those who are wise.
O my daughter, if a woman were able to do without a husband by virtue of her father’s wealth and her need for her father, then you of all people would be most able to do without a husband, but women were created for men just as men were created for them.

O my daughter, you are about to leave the home in which you grew up, where you first learned to walk, to go to a place you do not know, to a companion to whom you are unfamiliar. By marrying you, he has become a master over you, so be like a servant to him, and he will become like a servant to you.

Take from me ten qualities, which will be a provision and a reminder for you:

The first and second of them are: be content in his company, and listen to and obey him, for contentment brings peace of mind, and listening to and obeying one’s husband pleases Allah.

The third and fourth of them are: make sure that you smell good and look good; he should not see anything ugly in you, and he should not smell anything but a pleasant smell from you. Kohl is the best kind of beautification to be found, and water is better than the rarest perfume.

The fifth and sixth of them are: prepare his food on time, and keep quiet when he is asleep, for raging hunger is like a burning flame, and disturbing his sleep will make him angry.

The seventh and eight of them are: take care of his servants (or employees) and children, and take care of his wealth, for taking care of his wealth shows that you appreciate him, and taking care of his children and servants shows good management.

The ninth and tenth of them are: never disclose any of his secrets, and never disobey any of his orders, for if you disclose any of his secrets you will never feel safe from his possible betrayal, and if you disobey him, his heart will be filled with hatred towards you.

Be careful, O my daughter, of showing joy in front of him when he is upset, and do not show sorrow in front of him when he is happy, because the former shows a lack of judgment whilst the latter will make him unhappy.

What do you think?

Currently Designing:

I am currently working on:

Icons and background for an iPhone Application.

A logo for a NY based Record company.

A blog header.

A logo for a blog/ twitter.

Using People

It seems as though it is human nature to use people for what you need them for. They are worth as much to you, as the benefit you get from keeping them around.

It is something we all do.

We all have the friends that listen when we have to vent, and the ones that we listen to when its their turn. We keep some because they make us feel wanted, needed, and important. Others because they are the ones who we need, and probably they thrive on the significance we give them in return for their attention and time.

Why does it bite when you loose your status with one of the users? Why does it hurt when they take that “petty” “superficial” attention away from you and give you a cold shoulder?

I guess I would have to say its a reflection of our own petty superficiality.

Open and shut case Johnson.

Gaza

STOP the cold blooded murder, torture, and isolation of innocent civilians.

Cry about justice and democracy.

Scream “Human rights violation!” America is disgraceful for letting this happen and supporting terrorism.

Blatant murder of innocent people.

War on terror? How can the US or better yet Muslim nations ever talk about fighting terrorism when they let something like this happen and turn their backs like nothings going on.

Even a hypocritical condemnation would look better than nothing at this point.

Stop bullying people with no defenses.

Stop killing innocent people after occupying their land.

You know damn well you have no business there in the first place.

Immigration: Go Home

There is plenty of space in the US for people to come live here. Take a road trip anywhere and you’ll have your fair share of reminding.

You are not leaving your position at God knows where to do the mineal jobs they are willing to get done – efficiently if I might add.

Laslty, you came from somewhere else too. If you believe that they need to go home, then I suggest you get a head start on your packing.

The Perfect Candidate

To eat…

“The best place to eat is Portelli’s”

Is it in walking distance?

“I will take you there.”

Thank you.

“Not a problem…Here are all the night clubs and bars…Chicago’s great nightlife”

“…I always take my kids through here, the less curiosity the better…”

Interesting strategy. How old are they?

“They’re done with college except for one.”

Mashallah.

“We lived in Chicago and moved to Skokie and now were back here.”

It is something to put kids through college.

“Ana wa zawjti Laila, me and Laila my wife, we worked very hard to …nrabbi awlaadna...raise our kids..”

There’s a lot more to this city than the last time I saw her. Like New York but cleaner and less crowded

“For several years now I’ve been driving this taxi.” he said with a sense of pride, raising the index finger on his right hand.

“I have a question I want to ask you.”

etfaddal – please do, she immediately replied.

“How is my English?” He asked, and glimpsed into the rear view mirror for a second and looked back at the road,

“Is it good, or so so…” he asked with a new energy, one of a person who asks for an opinion in complete confidence that they will get positive feedback.

His anticipation for the reply was amusing. It let the little boy in him shine right through.

“Its very good.” she replied almost immediately.

And it was.

He nodded in agreement with his head tilted to the right – so as to hide his smile, like a teacher who got the correct answer out of his best student.

There was a slight accent on his English that labeled it his second language at best but it was reduced to a Frenchy hint on the end of his words and the way he sang his phrases told that he had worked hard to improve it.

“Aside from English, wal 3arabi - and Arabic, I speak Turkish, French and Spanish fluently.”

Thats amazing.

“I used to be an aid worker when I was younger, I left Iraq and lived in many countries. Lil Hilal al Ahmar – for the Red Crescent”

She was thoroughly impressed.

“Nothing more rewarding than helping people in need. Wallahi il 3atheem – I swear to God.”

“Here, I drive this cab. Alhamdulilah, rizq Halal – All thanks to Allah, it is lawful money”

“Aham shay. Nrdi rabna- the most important thing is to please our Lord”

fe3lan - indeed.

“In Washington, I was offered 100 thousand dollars a year to work for the government.”

Thats a lot.

The River is breath taking.

” Istani 3laya – let me finish – bidhom inni ashta’3el mutarjim - they want me to work as a translator.”

It runs between highrise buildings, a natural entity for which man-made symbols of civilization and modernity part and make way, almost as though out of respect.

“Ana rafathta- I refused it.”

“Hatha maal Haraam – that is unlwaful money. Fahma 3laya- are you following what Im saying?“

She nodded. The man has principle, that is something not too many ppl have anymore.

“I cannot feed my kids with that money.”

Very true.

“Hathal Portelli’s, ” He said pointing out to his right.

Thank you she said opening the van door.

A light breeze reminded her of how amazing the weather was.

Okazaki – 2

An Okazaki fragment is a piece of DNA that is made in the opposite direction of the normal strand. It is a part of the new DNA, but has to be glued to other fragments to make a complete strand. An enzyme called ligase sticks them (fragments) together and when it is part of the bigger strand it can be translated into a functional protein. But on its own, it doesn’t code for anything and is a nonsense piece of genetic information.

Like I would be, If i didn’t have my other fragments

So I guess were all O-frags and MAS is our glue and when we work together we make functional proteins.

Wild analogy.

I know.

Home: A Year and 52 minutes

He narrowed his eyes as he exhaled.
He did it out of habit now,
because the smoke didn’t bother him that much anymore.
Eyes searched aimlessly through the fog,
And settled for following the grey clouds as they lazily drifted by.
He missed being home.

Tapping the cigarette lightly, he paused before taking another drag
A car refused to start somewhere in the distance,
He missed the busy streets, the constantly honking horns…
The ashes fell to the ground and dissolved into the wet asphalt.
Others just zoomed by with indifference.
The lively music blaring from taxis.

He liked the fluctuating glow as he inhaled.
Humming one of his favorite tunes, he snapped along with his right hand
Originally right handed, but smoking while driving…
…had now trained him to use his left.
Bobbing his head to the beat, singing with a cracking voice.

This was the best part of the song
Where the singer paused, and the drums carried the rhythm
He missed the brightly colored hand written signs,
What was it about this place?
…their imperfect presence looming above small shop entrances.
Spiritually muted, so void of the livelihood he once knew.
Like the constant chatter of bystanders in the market
It crushed his pride, or what little of it he had left.

Here, the days shadow each other,
with no clear divisions.
Back home, time was a function of prayer.
Each melting into the other, without warning.
The athaan proved an artful means of dividing the day

He watched the glow creep towards the filter
Home was so far away.
Like the effect smoking had on him
Although the breeze carried the smoke away…
His lungs still paid the price.

He exhaled one last time…
The smoke danced off into the distance
Beautifully weightless
I do this for them,
Forming bizarre fluid shapes
And fading into the afternoon.
So they can have better lives…

He let it drop to the ground
Putting it out with his shoe, he noticed a stain on the cuff of his pants
And wondered what possessed him to wear white to work
He hoped he would live to see his home again.

His wife would kill him for it
He worked three jobs to stay afloat
She always reminded him,
“You don’t have to look like you do.”

He shook his head looking at his watch
It was getting cold…
Maybe I could try and wash it out in the morning
…Before she notices.

He retied his apron as he went back inside
Almost done with college.
The usual messy counter awaited him.
“Excuse me…you’re out of brown sugar.”

He nodded silently.
52 more minutes to go…

the Distate for Living…

He sat there sipping a coke, (his last 65 cents of change with 3 cents to spare.)

He was smiling with his eyes, but his face showed no expression.

It was the taste of the soda and the prints his hands left in the frost on the can. They took him back to better times.

I asked the usual question, “How you doing Pete?”

His wife passed away about 5 weeks ago, they gave him the option to keep her alive.

Which was followed by the usual response “Not bad, for an old man.”

They were separated at the time. He let her go.

He looked tired though, more so than usual.

“How about yourself…?”

He wonders all the time, what her life might have been like if they had stayed together.

How her last moments in life could have been different.

“I’m pretty good…”

He nodded and forced a smile.

His face was now saddened and he looked off into the distance and took another sip of coke.

I started to eat my lunch, now slightly concerned that he might fall out of his chair suffering a heart attack.

He covered his face and eyes with his right hand and his face turned red.

She is gone. She is not coming back.

Pete is going to die. Like his wife. Like me.The concept of death always puts life into perspective. I felt disgusted with myself.

Worrying about being sleepy or whining about this or that.

There stuffing my face. Worrying about feeding myself, when I am going to die.

Subhan Allah Al-Atheem

He finished his soda and got up, and walked back towards the door.

Wishing he had spent his last days with her.

His limp reminding us of that he was a veteran in the Vietnam war. Like most his age.

But that like most else in life didn’t matter.

We’re all gonna die. That reality stares some of us in the face.
So what’s left for Pete?

He doesn’t know.

Do you?

Enemy

“The Good is the enemy of the Best”

-This is my resolution for this year. To be the best inshallah. In every way.

-Thanks for the birthday wishes kids.

The little things give you away…

The concept of dying. It just puts things into perspective. You can see how attached we can get to this life, and the things in it.

We will die alone.

Scared, unsure, and small.

We are then resurrected, for eternity.

In the state we earned. Devastating thought.

I pray for the best…

Diagnosis: A Broken Heart

A seventy year old man, who sat next to me in 1B, talked to me for all 3 hours of the way.

Which in all honesty felt (thanks to Allah swt then his chit chat) like 30 min.

He was a Methodist Christian who owned a design shop in San Diego, CA (among other things that he pointed to from the sky… estates and acres upon acres of land) Geographically talented. He had the entirety of the US map in his head, and could ID these cities from the sky (mashallah).

His daughter worked in the shop, (it was a pity project to give her a job). She got pregnant at 16 and had a baby.

“See that? We’re flying along the border…“

“She’s now 26 with another child.“

Wow…

“…and she married one more.”

So she now has three..

He chuckled in agreement.

His blue eyes didn’t age like the rest of him. He was once a young man. Probably handsome. This grey hair, brown. The posture he retained  resulted in his dignified disposition. A  teenager, a good neighbor, a soldier, political science major, real estate agent, and a father on multiple occasions.
The flight attendant appeared from behind his chair and chirped with a brisk voice,

“Cookies?“

I had been waiting for these. It is my favorite thing about flying Midwest airlines. After 10 am of course. They’re always hot, the chips melting onto the napkin.  Easily the best tasting chocolate chip cookies ever.

“That down there, is Colorado Springs, CO”

To him California is home. Mine, on the other hand, is 3 hours in the future.
“She doesn’t really believe in God… You try to do everything for them – your kids that is – but they will do it their way no matter how hard you try.“

“Now were flying over Arizona…”

“Is your dad a good guy?“

Yes. Yes sir he is. He takes care of us all.

“I have a friend” – sigh.

“He…I left him in California.”

“He was in the ER. He’s dying. I don’t know if he’ll be alive when I get back…”

“Sir would you like something to drink?”
Apple juice and Cranberry Juice please.

“Sure, with ice?”

The phony smile remains plastered to her face.

“And you?”

I’ll pass. Thanks.

So what happened to your friend?

“He stopped eating. He stopped taking care of himself. He lives by himself. He was in his house dehydrated and alone for 2 days before I came and got him.”

- he took off his glasses and wiped them off. Then put them back on, slowly, silently and carefully.

“I had to carry him to the car. It took me two hours to get him out of there, and to the hospital. “

That’s insane!

“His wife left him, she divorced him. She took away his daughters…

He loves those girls more than anything. He loves them so much…

She was Muslim, from Iran…She wasn’t a good Muslim.

She took his daughters and said he couldn’t see them.

Now he is dying.

He’s two years younger than me. He shouldn’t be dying.

He is dying of a broken heart.”

“Now were above Kansas City, MO…“

Oh yeah?

- silence.

“By the way I’m Joe…”

I’m Miah. Nice to meet you Joe.

 

Pause Life II – blank expression

In its due time. Allah knows, I pray for the best. Alhamdulilah for everything.

I am…

Confused, Happy, Imperfect, Lost, Frowning, Out of Words, Alone, Angry, Selfish, Relieved, Exhausted (mentally & physically), Falling, Compromised, Fallen to be more Realistic, Hurt, Overwhelmed, At peace, Extremely unsettled, Curious, Down, Defeated, Thankful, Enlightened, Sick of it, Messy.

Complaining, and I need to stop.

I apologize for being human.

I do. and I mean it sincerely.

I am sorry…

Call me the hypocrite, Call me the lair :)

“And Allah (swt) bears witness that the hypocrites are liars…”

Conversation of Minds…

“You’re thinking it.”

Silence.

“But you’ll be damned if you ever said it.” “ At least to the right person.”

Its all choices, in their respective chronology. They do something to the likes of water-ballet and take the shape of what we call ”your day.”

You would choose to have me shift+delete -ed from your life if you could. But only sometimes, because other times I am of use. We do a dance, and we say everything else, anything but, what needs to be said.

“How do you look people in the eye?”

It amuses me on some subliminal level, I thought I was something.

“The concept of time, does that count as metaphysical?”

Beats me, but it doesn’t wait for anyone, I know that much.

You are only in control in your head. Outside it’s a whole nother ball game,

and the ball is coming at you.

Fast.

Madeeha Faryad – May Allah have mercy on her soul.

I got the call today, a couple of hours ago.

Like tooms says, life is truly short.
————–

Sister Madeeha Faryad passed away on Thursday April 26, 2007 in Fairfax Hospital.
La ilaha IllaAllah.
La ilaha illa Allah.
La ilaha illah Allah.

Cry for the Moment.

Tonight I cried.
For a man, a character
…and cried for his son.

I cried for humanity
The hungry,
The poor
The destitute.

Tonight ,
zakaat made perfect sense
…its essentiality
although unquestioned,
was explained further.

I cried for a girl
Who saw this life
with all the color her vision could perceive,
But none of it was in focus.

I cried for a moment.

Tonight,
I cried for a voice,
I used to see as weak
…that sang a song,
I’d only listened to today
but heard many times
but today this voice was beauty

I cried for the lost, the forgotten.
These hours of clarity,
are priceless
We all experience these moments.
…then we sleep it off,
and awake, with all forgotten.

When I wipe away the tears,
with mascara tainted fingertips.
I make a promise,
an oath,
to change what I have seen

To make a real difference.

Tonight…
…I cried.
and I’ll cry again

Tonight, I cried.

————————–————————–———
This note is an afterthought to the movie “The pursuit of Happyness.” and a long night that followed. [I love you guys]

Best to everyone, have a wonderful break kids
smile for us all

A Mind I’d Like to Explore

There’s just never the time.

I enjoy those conversations.
The ones you steal between classes…
Where we talk about those things.

The things that we know
We need to talk about,
But never do, because

When “other” people are there.
The time just doesn’t allow…
Something comes up…
Some one butts in…

We both smile
“No, you didn’t interrupt us…whats up?”

That always got me, people coming
and sitting and asking if they’re interrupting us
then us saying no, and them sitting down.

for heaven’s sake,
if we look like we were talkin about something
then we were.
and if you feel the slightest doubt that that’s the case.
save the question.
and keep ur self right where your at,
till we look approachable enough for your taste

Some conversations go unvisited for semesters.
because the chance never came.
or the hinder-ers never left

The look in their eye,
Something is cookin…
You return the look,
under curious brows…

That mind, i’d like to explore
and I plan to.
no doubt.
no doubt.

the secret – skittles & mnms

i am a lonely person.
…surrounded by people.

i smile, joke,act like a nut, quote Dave Chappelle and laugh at myself.
ill always respect a direct person
without a thought as to what they had to say
then again, respecting and liking are two very different things

i do have good times
i have great times in fact
and i thank God for all of the blessings i have with his mercy and kindness (swt)
but again, i’m beyond a certain point…
i have never been able to achieve the state of happiness i once had.

honest to God.

i can’t put my finger on it.
its just that feeling of hanging there.
hanging from what?
ur guess is better than mine at this point.

im not bored.
its more than that.
im…just know its more than that.

im mentally limited.
in every essence of the word
the people that surround me…

notice i didnt say -
the ppl i surround myself with

are bad for my brain.

you drain me.
you bore the life out of me.

im amazed most of u haven’t attempted suicide.
or atleast enough times for me to have heard about it.
to rid the place of another morbid spirit.

yeah, the place, not the world.
you aren’t significant on an international scale.
get over urself.

im immersed in school, work, volunteering, designing, grading….
and who knows what else i dont care to mention
but im hollow.

i have my faith, my prayers and whatnot.
im working on developing my relationship with God.
i just havent reached the level where that is all i need.
im working on that.

im tired of the correct, yet sappy and redundant advice
the empty ill-thought comments.
the lame 2-dozen for a dollar, solutions to problems.

you don’t mix skittles
with m&ms.
thats just dumb
go wash your hands Godammit
————————–————————–————————–—————-
course you dont know what i mean.
infact, you have absolutely no idea.

thats ok. no one does.